


Lapse

by sailec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e07 How Are Thou Fallen, M/M, Post Episode: 2.07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9777080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailec/pseuds/sailec
Summary: Magnus trips a little over his own feet as Alec backs him further into the bedroom, making their hold on each other tighten. For a moment it's impossible not to get lost in it, not to open his mouth for Alec's tongue and grab at the back of his shirt, allowing Alec's big hands to hold him steady while he kisses him deeper."Wait," Magnus says and finally breaks away, the two of them still standing so close he can feel Alec's breathing, the way it's gone heavy. He closes his eyes, the tips of Alec's fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, and the want in his body curses the words that come next. "We should – wait."





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure this has been done many times by now, but after the latest episode I still needed to write my take on where their last scene left off. I'm trying my hardest to reserve judgement until next week to see how it will all play out but as a gay guy I have a really hard time allowing myself to care for m/m ships on shows the way I do for these two, and how this episode left me feeling is kinda the reason for that... so this is just something to smooth things over after the fade-to-black while we wait!

Magnus trips a little over his own feet as Alec backs him further into the bedroom, making their hold on each other tighten. For a moment it's impossible not to get lost in it, not to open his mouth for Alec's tongue and grab at the back of his shirt, allowing Alec's big hands to hold him steady while he kisses him deeper.

"Wait," Magnus says and finally breaks away, the two of them still standing so close he can feel Alec's breathing, the way it's gone heavy. He closes his eyes, the tips of Alec's fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, and the want in his body curses the words that come next. "We should – wait."

"What? Magnus, I told you, I really do want – "

"No, I know," Magnus cuts him off. "I know." He looks at Alec, at his furrowed brows, as if he's trying his hardest to concentrate on working out a really complicated puzzle which Magnus holds all the pieces to. "Look, Alexander, what I'm saying is... what I meant is, maybe –  _I_ want to wait."

Alec stares for a moment before quickly releasing his palms from Magnus's neck, startled as if having put them on a hot stove. "Oh."

"It's just – "

"So you – you told me you didn't want to, and I – ... I did _not_ get that at all."

"It's fine, we – "

"Oh my god," Alec says and starts wringing his hands before he lowers them to press a thumb into his palm. "I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Magnus says and reaches out a hand for him, because it's all a misunderstanding – they should be getting used to having them by now, he thinks, but Alec doesn't seem to be listening as he backs away and starts to pace instead.

"You know what? I am going to kill Izzy. If it wasn't for her – "

"What does Isabelle have to do with this?"

"Nothing." Alec stops but doesn't meet his eyes. "I mean, uh – she, uh. She just said some stuff. About – just going for it and I guess I – "

"Wait a minute," Magnus says and holds up a finger, trying to work out how they went from being mildly annoyed at not having enough time without being interrupted by either a frustrating brother or a demanding job to make out with some light over-the-clothes touching, to _this_ , with Alec barging in and almost knocking him over in his desperation to, apparently, get them naked. Not that it's not flattering, but a little heads up would have been nice, instead of Alec going over it with his sister. It's only been a couple of days since Alec almost left him after finding out one part of Magnus's past, after all – there's still so much getting to _know_ each other they have to do. "You were talking to Isabelle about this?"

"No. I mean yes, but not like – not like that, I was just asking her to, uh – I mean she's. She's pretty experienced, you know? And – she's always complaining that I never talk to her and..." Alec shakes his head, sucks at his bottom lip, keeps his stare trained on the floor as if he wouldn't be able to handle whatever he'd find in Magnus's face. "Nevermind. I should. I should really go this time, shouldn't I? I'm sorry for thinking this was a – "

"Alexander. Hey." Magnus almost reaches for him, instinctively wanting to grab his arm;  _stay_ , but Alec makes no move to leave at all, staying rooted to the spot – not like last time, not when he started to walk away and Magnus couldn't bear to stop him because he was so sure Alec was leaving because he couldn't handle what he had heard – so instead he waits until Alec stops his rambling and lets out a breath.

"You must think I'm such a child," Alec mutters.

"What? No. Just because you haven't had sex?"

"You said it yourself, right? According to you, I'm all... innocent." He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, tucks his hands under his biceps.

Magnus pauses, because if there's one thing he's never thought of in all of this, it's that anything Alec has done is _childish_. They may be far – _far_ – apart in age, but that has only seemed like an issue in situations where they actually bring it up, when they say it out loud and things get awkward when looking at the mere facts, stripped away from how they feel around each other.

Alec has always had an easier time to get stuck up on details, though.

Magnus sighs and looks up at the ceiling, suddenly getting it. "...And that's why you went to Isabelle to talk about this, and not me." Because Alec didn't want to remind him of the virgin elephant in the room, in case it would make Magnus see him as immature instead of simply inexperienced. When Alec doesn't say anything, Magnus continues, "Sure, there is... a layer to that, which we cant – or shouldn't – ignore. But that's the thing, Alec – we shouldn't ignore it. It's exactly why we need to talk about these things. _We_ need to talk about them. I'm not saying you can't talk to your sister too, but – "

"But it doesn't have to be such a big deal, does it?" Alec interrupts him, his hands starting to move the way they usually do when he's fired up about something. "Look, I'd get it if we were both teenagers and I had just – had my sexual awakening or something, but just because I haven't been able to act on it before doesn't mean I haven't _thought_ about these things until I met you."

"Now _that_ would have been flattering," Magnus says, not even trying to suppress his proud grin when he sees how Alec stops to look at him, the corner of his mouth automatically twitching up in an almost-smile when he realizes Magnus is teasing.

"Might be too much even for your ego to handle."

"Hoho, ouch," Magnus says and laughs, "the boy's got bite."

"Yeah. I got all kinds of sides to me you don't know about yet."

"Alexander." Magnus looks down, still smiling as he toys with one of the rings on his fingers, trying to find the right words and not get lost in flirting with Alec. Which is a pretty challenging thing on its own. "Look, I just need to know there's no pressure here to hurry things up because of – because of my past experiences. Or your lack of them. I need it to be clear you don't have to prove something to me. And that if – if you feel nervous, it's okay. Because I do, too. So even if you don't feel that way, even if it's not like that, you still can't shut me out from talking about these things because even just the _possibility_ of them means we need to have talked about it. And feeling like we can't talk about it... if it's because you think I would judge you if we acknowledge that you haven't done this before... that's not the best base to have sex on anyway, is it? Not when... not when you mean as much to me as I hope I do to you, too."

"You do." Alec swallows, the tense set to his shoulders seeming to ease up even as he continues massaging his right palm. "Magnus, you do. That's why – that's why I wanted to do it. _Want_ to do it. Not because I'm trying to prove something or felt pressured or – ..." He trails off and looks at him. "I want to do it because it's with you. And I want you, Magnus."

"Alec – "

"Look, if you want to wait, I respect that. 'Course I do. I just need you to know where I stand in all of this. And okay, I get that maybe we should have talked about it before, but I went to Izzy because I just – I didn't want to make it into such a big deal."

Magnus puts his hands on his hips and pouts. "If you keep talking about it in that way you're going to make me think you're not nearly as excited about this as you should be."

"I didn't mean – "

"'Not a big deal', huh? Really know the first step to getting into a guy's pants – "

"Shut up," Alec mutters but laughs at Magnus's smile. "But – you do get what I mean, right?"

"Yes, Alexander," Magnus says. "I get it. But I've also had my fair share of people I've slept with who really _were_ 'no big deal', and I don't want our first time to be like that. Actually, I don't want any of our times to be like that. Surely we'll have plenty of time for spontaneous adventures with quick and heated sessions after a couple of practice runs, but they shouldn't be _no big deals_ – "

Magnus stops when he sees Alec duck his head, cheeks colouring as he smiles before his lips work their way back into a worried expression again.

"It's just that – I mean, what if it's – what if we wait for the perfect moment, or whatever, Magnus – and it's like with our date? I don't want it to be like – like, where it's – ..."

"Over-planned and tense?" Magnus fills in, because that sure was a disaster, but one they haven't repeated since they stopped making their dates so official. "Awkward and weird, and not in a charming way?"

"Well – yeah."

"So it won't be." Magnus shrugs. "Look, I'm not saying we should set a date and rent a motel after prom night or anything of the sort – I'll even hold back on the scented candles and rose petals on the bed if you want – all I'm saying is... let's see where things take us. Naturally. After we've talked about it. Like we have now. And then I'm sure things will happen – so we'll just let them, yes? There's no need to rush into this, is there?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I just – I just thought it was time to stop overthinking everything. I wanted to try being spontaneous for once, you know?"

"Mm," Magnus tilts his head back and forth in a sorta-agreement, because he can at least see where he's coming from now. He reaches out to tug at the front of Alec's shirt, pulling him a little closer when he sees Alec swaying into it. "For the record, though..."

"What?"

"You're pretty hot when you're determined. Thought you should know that."

"I am?"

"Mhm." Magnus grins and lets his hands travel up Alec's chest. "A dose of being spontaneous seems to fit you."

"So uh, do you – I mean, since we do have the place to ourselves for the first time in, like – ... and we've – talked some things through. You, uh. Like, do you wanna – ...?"

"Stop overthinking everything and just make out?"

Alec smiles and bites his bottom lip, eyes flicking down to Magnus's mouth. "Yeah."

"That," Magnus says, wrapping his arms around Alec's neck, "sounds like an excellent idea." He tilts his head up to kiss him, murmuring against his lips, "And, I mean, who knows what will happen from there?"

"So this is all, sort of like," Alec breaks away from the kiss, voice a little dazed and his hands tightening on Magnus's waist, "um, something in-between? Like... planned spontaneity?"

"You know what? I think planned spontaneity might just be our thing."

Alec laughs, pulling Magnus closer, and starts kissing him again in agreement.


End file.
